我敢保证他一定告诉您我超速了,我敢保证他一定告诉您我超速了范

　　A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has
the following exchange:

　　Officer:
　　May I see your driver's license?
　　Driver:
　　I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

　　Officer:
　　May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
　　Driver:
　　It's not my car. I stole it.

　　Officer:
　　The car is stolen?
　　Driver:
　　That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

　　Officer:
　　There's a gun in the glove box?
　　Driver:
　　Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed　the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

　　Officer:
　　There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
　　Driver:
　　Yes, sir.

　　Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

　　Captain:
　　Sir, can I see your license?
　　Driver:
　　Sure. Here it is ... It was valid.

　　Captain:
　　Who's car is this?
　　Driver:
　　It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card ... The
driver owned the car.

　　Captain:
　　Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if　there's a gun in it?
　　Driver:
　　Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it ... Sure enough, there
was nothing in the glove box.

　　Captain:
　　Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said　there's a body in it.
　　Driver:
　　No problem ... Trunk is opened; no body.

　　Captain:
　　I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said　you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car,　had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body
in the trunk.

　　Driver:
　　Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too